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The Prefect Wedding

WEDDING MAKEUP TIPS

What do Michelle Pfeiffer, Kim Basinger, Charles Theron, Kate Blanchett, Liv Tyler, Natalie Portman, Heather Graham, Salma Hayek, Cameron Diaz, Jada Pinkett, Jennifer Lopez, and Minnie Driver, all have in common, besides being the most beautiful women in show business? They all choose Jeanine Lobell (creator of the Stila makeup line) to make them look beautiful for big events.

For a completely stress-free day, Jeanine suggests hiring a makeup artist. "If you live in New York, LA, or Chicago there is probably a fairly good choice of salons that have makeup artists that are qualified to do makeup for weddings. However, she says, "if you live in a more remote place, your best bet is to go to a department store where makeup counters like Stila have talented artists who work on the weekend." Jeanine says that you can expect to pay around $350 for a half day with a makeup artist, but he or she will also be able to do members of your bridal party. "Make sure that the person you use has made you up before the wedding," she warns. "The last thing you want to be is unhappy and uncomfortable about your makeup on your wedding day."

"If you can't afford a makeup artist, designate a friend," Jeanine suggests. "Everyone has one friend who's better at makeup than the rest. If you can't get one person to do everybody, then at least choose the colors your bridal party will be wearing. There's nothing worse than a bride wearing beige makeup colors and her bridesmaids wearing fuscia lipstick!"

Telling one's bridesmaids what makeup to wear on your wedding day can be tricky and should be handled sensitively, she advises. "If you do have friends who wear 'Scary Mary' makeup, why not arrange a pre-wedding 'girls night' or a makeup party a week or two before the wedding? Arrange for a manicurist and pedicurist to come to your house. The best way to do it is to buy the makeup colors that you like and say, 'I thought we'd play with makeup looks for my wedding.' It's important to make it a fun thing, as opposed to a critical thing."

To look fabulous on your wedding day, follow Jeanine's easy makeup tips:

1. Use a cream blush applied after the foundation, before powder. This will be longwearing and give a glow from within.



2. Apply lip liner evenly all over lips under the lipstick to make it last longer. When lipstick fades, it will fade evenly without leaving the outer lip liner only.



3. Apply a small dollop of lip-gloss to the center of mouth to make lips appear fuller.



4. Apply a shimmer-type product lightly on top of cheekbones to give highlight to the face.



5. Always use waterproof mascara and avoid applying any mascara to bottom lashes, or only do so if very sparingly.



6. Apply powder at the very last "makeup and hair minute," as you can easily touch up foundation or hide nervous blemishes before you powder. This is not as easy after the base is set.



7. Avoid black or very dark eyeliner. It will make the eyes appear smaller in pictures. Instead, try smoky soft grays or plums, which will be softer and more flattering.



8. Keep eye shadow light and shimmery, again to avoid making the eyes appear smaller.



9. There's nothing like a blushing bride! Rosy cheeks are always a winner.



10. Avoid waxing or facials right before the wedding. Give your face five days off before the big event.



11. Throw some shimmer on shoulders and décolletage. This always looks great in moderation.



12. Add a few fake lashes to outer corner of eyes. This opens and lifts the eye. However, be sure to use a waterproof adhesive!



13. If your skin is oily, avoid applying moisturizer before application of foundation.



14. Stick to a classic look. Avoid trends, as they will very soon look dated in pictures.



15. Be happy and look like the prettiest version of yourself; don't try to be anyone but yourself on the day. Remember - he picked YOU.

GIVING A BAD BRIDESMAID THE BOOT

Have you ever heard about the bridesmaid who eloped with the groom? Of course, a wedding attendant doesn't have to steal your husband to qualify as a naughty bridesmaid. There are lesser crimes, committed by bridesmaids who are easily distracted or simply unsure of themselves. While there is plenty of advice about what to do if you are a bridesmaid being abused by a tyrannical bride, there is a little advice to brides about how to handle bad bridesmaids. I know, your own wedding party is perfect, but read on, just in case.

When choosing attendants, it might never occur to you that you could one day regret your decision. Wedding etiquette experts of days past insist that it is impolite to retract the invitation to be a bridesmaid. Easy for them to say, they probably never had to deal with the champagne chugging, jealous, lazy, or sex kitten attendants some brides deal with these days.

What exactly constitutes a bad bridesmaid? It isn't as though the job - getting a dress fitted, going to prenuptial parties, gathering guests for the bouquet toss - is all that difficult. Still, many brides complain that their bridesmaids are driving them crazy. First, let's clarify what does not constitute a bad bridesmaid. A bad bridesmaid is not someone who refuses to give you all of her time; she has a life, too. A bad bridesmaid is not someone who refuses to wear a lime green chiffon mini-dress that makes her butt look like a Mack truck; being made a fool of is not part of the deal. Finally, a bad bridesmaid is not someone who has gained a few pounds, or has a Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder; no, a person's appearance is not cause to ditch them.

There are various types of below-average bridesmaids, many of whom can be tolerated. However, some bridesmaids are so bad that you may have to "pinkslip" them, or ask them to step down, in order to save your wedding.

TOLERABLE

Ms. Lazybones. You've always considered her to be a generous, loving friend, so you assumed she would be the perfect maid of honor. The problem is, she hasn't lifted a finger to help. Try giving her some specific duties, rather than waiting for her to offer. She may just be distracted. While she may be a disappointment, laziness isn't cause for dismissal.

Ms. Unavailable. She's never home when you telephone, and she rarely returns your calls. She didn't even attend your engagement party, so what kind of a bridesmaid is she? In a word: unavailable. Her behavior may infuriate you, but being too busy isn't usually bad enough to send her packing.

INTOLERABLE

Ms. Sex Friend. Your best friend in the first grade has changed quite a bit in the last twenty-something years. Actually, she's become a little too "friendly," if you do say so yourself. She showed up at your engagement party in a cheap knockoff of Elizabeth Hurley's safety pin Versace, and openly flirted with the groomsmen, the caterer, and your 65 year-old father. You shudder to think what she might do if left alone with your fiancé. She's a ticking bomb waiting to explode. If you've got the nerve, gently lose her before she destroys your special day.

Ms. Lush. Your college roomy was always a barrel of laughs, but how could you know that she's been drinking barrels since then? She shows up drunk, slurs her words, and insults your grandmother with inappropriate jokes; she even passed out cold at your engagement party after skinny-dipping in the fountain! Fact: You are not a bad friend if you ask her to withdraw from your wedding party; you are only bad if you continue to subject your guests to her antics.

Ms. Green with Envy. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Some people can not bear the happiness of others, even if that happiness belongs to their best friend. Beware of the saccharin sweet maid-of-honor who turns into a green-eyed monster; she may very well sabotage your wedding. If it gets ugly, you have every right to kindly ask her to go away.

AVOIDING THE BRIDESMAID BLUES

Take the following precautions to heart and avoid getting stuck with a bad bridesmaid.

Don't ask anyone to be your bridesmaid too far in advance. Relationships change over time, and you may change your mind. Since it is impolite to retract an invitation of this sort, tread cautiously. Better to ask someone four months, rather than fourteen months, before the wedding, to avoid any regrets.

Only ask people you really want to be in your wedding. Here's a fact you may find shocking: You are not required to ask someone to be in your wedding just because you were in hers. You are also not locked into promises you made at a slumber party when you were 13 or when you had too many Tequila Sunrises at your first frat party.

Trust your instincts. If your gut is telling you not to ask a certain friend to be in your wedding, there is probably a reason. Don't ask until you are sure.

GIVING THE BAD NEWS

Only extreme cases call for giving a bridesmaid the boot, but if it should come to that, be as gentle as possible. Honesty is usually the best policy. However, if you sense that the truth will make her "Fatal Attraction" (bunny-boiling) vengeful, go ahead and make something up to appease her. If she has already paid for her dress, kindly reimburse her. A few hundred dollars is a bargain for a stress-free wedding day, don't you think? In any event, keep in mind why bridesmaids exist in the first place. Certainly, they are lovely to look at as they precede the bride down the aisle in their wedding finery, but the real reason we include them is this: on a day as special as your wedding, you want to be surrounded by your closest friends.

TRADITIONAL WEDDING FAVORS

Giving your guests a memento, or favor, on your wedding day has been a long-standing custom, from Elizabethan England to romantic Italy right through to modern-day America. In simpler times, biscuits were given to the bride and groom's guests as a way of showing appreciation for their blessings. These days, favors come in a variety of shapes and sizes, depending on the inclinations of the bride and her family. And for the bride who's looking to imbue her celebration with the time-tested traditions handed down through the generations rather than the latest trends, a variety of options exist.

Ribbons

In the England of Queen Elizabeth I, favors consisted of ribbons tied in a knot symbolizing marriage -- silver or gold ribbons for royal weddings, blue and white otherwise; sometimes these ribbons would be festooned around a bouquet of flowers. This tradition continued in England right up through the 19th century; Queen Victoria's guests at her wedding to Prince Albert received favors of white satin ribbon with silver lacing. Ribbons have lost some popularity among today's brides, but for a touch of old tradition and real royalty; ribbons can not be beat.

Almonds

In Italy and other Mediterranean cultures, candy-coated almonds, commonly referred to as Jordan almonds, are traditionally a favor rich in symbolism: the bittersweet taste of fresh almonds represents life; the sweetness of the candy coating symbolizes the hope for a life more sweet than bitter. The Greek tradition gives almonds in odd numbers only, which can not be divided and are therefore, something of a good omen. Jordan almonds are most often covered in white or pastel colored sugar coating, but of course chocolate lovers everywhere shouldn't hesitate to offer almonds dipped in their favorite milky-brown coating. Even honey-coated or toffee-covered almonds will work; the idea is to contrast the bittersweet of the almond with a sweet coating.

Tie the almonds in tulle or cellophane and place them around the dinner tables along with the china and stemware.

Dried Fruits

Another favor from times past, dried fruits, suggest the bounty of a harvest, and seem particularly appropriate for outdoor weddings or receptions in the spring or summer. Create small bags from squares of tulle and fill them with bits of your favorites, such as apricots, apples, oranges, and plums, or go tropical with bananas, pineapples, and mangoes. Dried fruits give a more natural feel to the celebration, and are a way of showing appreciation to your guests without appearing over the top.

Chocolate

Another popular but still traditional favor is chocolate, most often shaped as a heart. If you're a chocolate lover and want to call upon tradition but give it a slightly different twist, try dark chocolate, or find a chocolatier who can engrave the chocolate with your initials or maybe even your family crest. But be careful: chocolate melts, so if your reception is taking place on an August afternoon in a park in Arizona, maybe you should opt for another favor - dried fruit, perhaps.

New Traditions

Of course, traditions weren't always traditions; they had to start somewhere. They're really just something someone did in the past. Find out what your mom or grandma used in their weddings and make the favor a family tradition. Whether it's one of the favors mentioned above, or something more eclectic, starting your own tradition can be just as much fun as calling upon an old one. Just don't be too disappointed if, someday, when planning your own daughter's wedding, she opts to chuck the traditional family favors for something new and trendy, perhaps temporary tattoos of her and her fiancé's faces for all the guests to wear. After all, traditions are made to be broken.

TEN WEDDING DON'TS

You're planning your wedding. There are lots of people telling you what to do. But what about the other side of the coin? What about the don'ts? We've compiled ten important wedding don'ts to keep you clear of the pitfalls.

1. DON'T create a wedding for others at the expense of your personal desires and responsibilities. A wedding is an event intended to bring people together - families, friends, the community of people around you. But more than anything else, it is about uniting two people together for life. As you begin planning your wedding, try to focus on creating the kind of celebration you want not the one you think other people will expect you to have. Yes, it's important to consider other people's feelings. Yes, symbolic gestures -- such as carrying the same kind of flowers as your mother carried, or using your fiancé's grandparents' cake topper on your cake -- will please others. But don't make choices to please others if they will make you unhappy, and don't spend more than you can afford just to "keep up with the Joneses."



2. DON'T invite people just because you think you have to. The simple truth of wedding budgeting is that each additional guest means an increase in cost. If you have a specific budget limit (and most people do), you reduce your ability to spend on other items each time you increase the headcount. More guests mean fewer flowers, a less extravagant menu. Invite those who you care about most and who are truly involved in your life. On your wedding day, you want to be surrounded by familiar, loving smiles -- not people you barely recognize.



3. DON'T be late. This rule applies to the bride, the groom, and everyone else involved in the wedding. Try to start your wedding on time. If you don't, everything will run behind schedule, and that can create real problems at your reception location, especially if there is another event scheduled following yours. If locations or service people (waiters, bartenders, musicians, etc.) end up working later than originally scheduled, you may find unpleasant overtime charges added to your final bill. If you must delay the start of your ceremony -- perhaps because guests are still arriving -- do so by no more than 10 minutes.



4. DON'T worry about things going wrong. There's no point in panicking the morning of the wedding. Minor problems will probably occur and no one will really even notice; if a big problem is looming, there's probably little that can be done about it at this point. So why worry? Let others take care of the final details. Relax, smile, and enjoy your special day.



5. DON'T tune out. Some brides are so overwhelmed by wedding anxiety that they turn to over-the-counter sedatives, prescription tranquilizers, or alcohol to calm nerves on the big day. And then they have to wait and watch the wedding video in order to find out what happened. Resist the temptation to medicate yourself through the nerve-wracking final hours. You'll want to remember this day.



6. DON'T include things that don't matter to you. While observing wedding traditions can create a sense of continuity and community at a wedding celebration, they aren't essential. You don't have to have a flowergirl and ringbearer if you don't want to -- or even adult attendants. Maybe you're a grown-up bride who finds the garter toss ritual embarrassing; if so, skip it. There's no law that says you can't walk yourself down the aisle and give yourself away. Although you should be careful about tampering with religious rituals, feel free to create your own traditions.



7. DON'T forget to eat. Famished, fainting brides and grooms are a bigger problem than you might imagine. Considering skipping breakfast so you can look svelte in your wedding attire? Don't. It may be your last meal of the day, and you'll need the energy. If jitters have your stomach in a knot, try to eat a few saltines. As the minutes tick down to ShowTime, you probably won't have a chance to grab a bite to eat. Many couples are so busy visiting with guests at the reception that they barely get a bite of their own reception menu. Not eating can make you cranky at the least; and cause you to faint at the worst. In a recent survey, 36% of all honeymooners said the first thing they did when they got to their suite after the wedding was… order room service. Eat a meal before the wedding, and try to eat at the reception too.



8. DON'T spend too much time with any particular guest. It may be difficult, but you should make it your goal to spend at least a few minutes visiting with each of your wedding guests. The only way you're going to make it through the crowd and still do all the other things you're supposed to do (have your first dance, toasts, dinner, and cut the cake) is if you push yourself to be brief with each guest. You can always circle back later and spend some extra time with your favorite people.



9. DON'T let guests drink and drive. You shouldn't have to police your party, but make sure that the bartenders and waitstaff are alert to ensuring your guests' safety. Recruit your groomsmen to keep their eyes on the crowd (and each other!) in case some end up enjoying his or herself a little too much. Arm each of your groomsmen with the phone number of a taxi service. If someone has had too much, a groomsman can escort that person out of view and address the situation. You've heard it before, but it bears repeating: take their keys. If the party animal doesn't have a ride home, he or she should be put in a cab. It only takes an instant for the memory of your wedding celebration to be scarred by a tragic accident.



10. DON'T forget what it's really all about. Your wedding day will pass quickly. All the months of planning will be realized in just a few short hours. Guests will ooh and aah over your beautiful gown; they'll marvel at the lovely flowers; they'll enjoy the delicious reception menu you organized so carefully. But, ultimately, all those things are just a part of the party. A wedding is the celebration of something much more important: the decision two people make to join together and live their lives as one. Amidst the fanfare of your wedding day, try to remember to take a moment or two and gaze across the crowd. Find the face of your new spouse. Watch him or her as they enjoy the day. Share a smile between the two of you, and commit yourself to finding a way, each and every day, to bring those smiles back to your faces.

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