Health plan doesn't cover sleigh rash.
Hookers who laugh when you take your pants off.
After too much eggnog, Mrs. Claus is "all hands."
You're enjoying the Jacuzzi, and Santa gets in naked.
Santa keeps asking, "Does this suit make me look fat?"
That idiot Blitzen always mistaking you for a chew toy.
It's at least a thousand miles from North Pole to nearest strip club.
Next to "race" on the census forms, there's never a box marked "elf."
Now have to work through coffee breaks thanks to the McCaughey septuplets.
Ever since they hit the big time, those damn Keebler Elves act like we don't exist.

Christmas is a time for families, fun and festivities! A time for Santa, stars and singing carolers. A time of family gatherings and holiday meals. A time for ornaments, gifts and twinkling lights. Of sleigh rides, hot cocoa and gingerbread cookies. So bring your kids and tell your friends. And please stop by again. Merry Christmas to everyone and a happy new year to all.

HOLIDAY GREETINGS FROM
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